Ultrapure (Indie Exclusive, Colored Vinyl, Olive, Green)
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My favorite moments in the human experience are ones that you don’t even realize have started, but feel so deeply when you realize they’ve ended. I refer to these as ‘Ultrapure’ moments. This album was my humble, unqualified, and earnest as hell attempt at sitting in those feelings until they had no choice but to burst out of my head. These songs are about a type of pain I hate and love, but mostly have a deep appreciation for.
We made this album during a particularly beautiful season in Nashville, TN. Working with Daniel Tashian and Konrad Snyder felt like being guided by two wise and empathetic souls – who also happen to be undeniable goofballs – to do nothing but be myself. They pushed me to trust myself, even to the point of me playing every instrument on this record so that it felt as personal as I wanted it to! (My first time playing drums or piano in front of anyone else! Horrifying!!!)
Making this album was a perfect combination of effortlessness and a struggle. It was very clear from the start it was going to be something I would never forget. The thesis formed when I wrote the title track, “Ultrapure,” which was the second song I wrote for the album, after “Body.” It was one of those rare artist’s dream songs that took just 15 minutes to spill out after weeks of writing what were, essentially, a lot of shitty songs. It was the kind of song that laughed at me when I finished it, mockingly saying “I’ve been here all along dumbass!!!” So began a meditative cycle of me practicing getting out of my own way and letting these songs present themselves.
Throughout the record I wanted to open a lot of doors, peek my head in, and reflect for a bit. For the first time I’m addressing both the pains of my childhood, and the love I have for my mother. Honoring this duality, “Delaware,” “Sunshine,” and “Ultrapure” all touch on the defining moments of travel, danger, and uncertainty I felt in my early life, while their titles reference some of the most beautiful memories I have. Writing about all of this was totally new for me, but these songs guided me so kindly to the moments like “Breathe,” “Chaos Party,” and “Body,” where I was able to celebrate the lessons those early pains taught me.
My proudest moments on this album occur in “Sunburn Fades,” “Skyline,” and “Sink;Swim.” I’m not quick to pat myself on the back, it’s actually really hard for me to do. But these songs allowed me to remember what it felt like to say exactly what I was feeling, and I’m proud of and grateful for that experience.
There is so much beauty in this world – heart wrenching, belly laughing, breathtaking beauty. I’ve seen it up close, and I’ve seen it fade away. How are we supposed to keep up with this infinite beautiful cycle of being alive? This album helped me discover my answer to that question I’m perpetually asking. To strive to be ULTRAPURE. To strive to be fearless, open-hearted, and unconcerned with the pain that loving the world and everyone in it can cause. To take the leap, laugh at yourself, and want nothing but that beauty to be.
I hope this album reflects that pursuit, and eases anyone’s fears about needing to know everything. It certainly helped me. This album experience began and ended in what felt like an effortless blink of an eye, like a true ULTRAPURE moment would. I’m hoping it’s the beginning of many more to come.